I am FAMISHED

Goal A:

Finish and don't die.... Success!

Goal B:

Don't get swept.... Success!

Goal C:

2:30... Not so much success.

I ended up just over 3 hours. I also ended up stopping and waiting in line for a dozen pictures, and felt flipping FANTASTIC the entire time, AND my fastest mile was 12-13.1, through EPCOT, so... I'm calling that a success anyway. :D

Seeing Becka is always a good time, and meeting L was fun. A informed me that I'm her new BFF. I got to see an old friend from high school, who used to skip gym and algebra with me, and briefly met Little Fruit Fly and Leslie from Racing it Off.

Full report later!

Three Things Thursday

1. T-18 hours. Hopefully the H is doing laundry for me, I still need to run to Target one more time, and then start to pack. After I get out of work, drive home, cook dinner, and put kidlets to bed. I like to live on the edge.

2. Sure did.

3. Seems like, coming along for the ride to Florida, is an awesome head cold... sore throat, cough, and sneezing. Sounds like fun!

CAN.NOT.WAIT.

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

My sister visited from FL this past weekend... and other goodies that made the last week awesome...

3 hours of driving. Trecherous, one lane, moutain road. 6" patch of snow. Score.

Mmmmm. Pancakes after a 6 miler...

I really liked this, but even with this...

I put it down and walked away. It's been 15 months since my last Coach purchase. Will power of steel.

Tuesday Ten...

1. I ran 5.5 miles on Saturday and felt GREAT. Until I thought I was going to puke. Apparently, PB&J don't work for me. I normally have a half of a banana, but I felt like being adventurous. Now I know.

2. Ran another 3 on Monday, and felt AMAZING.

3. I definitely have a shin pain all of a sudden, that goes away after the first mile or so. Interesting.

4. Race day outfit is almost complete. Nothing like leaving it to the last second, right?

5. I leave in 65 hours. Of those 65 hours, I have 2 more runs, 16 hours of work, 4 hours of commuting, 2 hours at the Infusion Center with Gabby.

6. I know some of you other Princess runners have already packed and are on their way. I have part of my race day outfit planned. That's it. Oh, and the iFitness belts for Fruit Fly and Dee.

7. I have three races on my calendar for 2011, and I'm 99% sure that's where it's going to stand... I've registered for all three, and I'm being cut-off from more. Boo.

8. I did cut out caffiene. None since Friday. That's 4 days. I'm so badass, it's scary. Or, I'm insane. Either way.

9. And still no meat.

10. But I plan to wreck that like mad at Cinderella's Royal Table on Saturday morning. (And still no Le Cellier availability. Curse me and my procrastinating!)

Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

I swear, I'm losing my mind.

I went out for a run last night, and... panicked. Like I've never run a day in my life. This is what happened in my head:

It's cold. It's windy. It's dark. I think my calf feels funny. Does my knee hurt? I can feel my shoe rubbing my achilles... is that new? Has it always done that? Why does my heel feel weird? Does it feel weird? I should have braided my hair. It's going to annoy me. Is this jacket too warm? It's sooooo windy. I hate wind. Running into the wind is going to be tough. It's cold. I think my knee hurts.

And then I quit.

I went home, and finished making dinner (vegetarian Puerto Rican food for me, so made TWO meals, really), and ate, and foam rolled my possibly-imaginary pains.

But the crazy continued this morning. I was going to wear jeans and boots, because suddenly, SoCal has remembered that it's still winter, and it's freezing here. But I didn't want to wear boots - what if the heel aggrivated my knee?! I wore flat boots instead. Then spent the walk into the office questioning every twinge in my legs. Did that hurt? Does it feel funny?

I spend all day obsessing over details - studying the course map, stalking dining reservations (Cinderella's Royal Table, SCORE! Le Cellier has evaded me so far...), pretending I'm going to stop obsessing by focusing my obsession on the other two half's I've registered for, studying THOSE maps, back to obsessing over Princess. It's a circle.

This morning I melted down a little. All these runs I've skipped.. last night was truly the only one that I've skipped FOR NO LEGIT REASON. And now I'm panicking. What if I DON'T FINISH?? What if I get swept?! What if I just suck?

One of my fave blogs, Cotter Crunch, posted about this feeling the other day... Where you just feel like you're... waiting for something. Not sure what, but... something.

I guess, at this point, I've done what I could for training. The 4 runs I have scheduled before Princess aren't going to make my race, right? I'm pretty much as prepared as I'm gonna get. I just need to shut up, and do it. I'm getting nothing done by worrying about everything.

And I hate not getting anything done.

Why are I am crazy.

Three Things Thursday

1. I leave in EIGHT DAYS.

2. I had a bizarro dream last night that I was tweeting Little Fruit Fly last night and was really worried I actually had... but checking my tweets today, looks like it was a false alarm. Phew.

3. Test run in the Princess skirt Tuesday night was a success... now just waiting for the socks...

iFitness Belt Winners!

Um. So, there were two entrants and two belts. THANKFULLY, I got a bunch of donations to PCRF out of this, but only two chicks want an awesome iFitness Belt? Weirdos.


Anyway, Little Fruit Fly and Dee - I know you'll both be at Princess weekend, lemme know if you want me to mail your belts, or give them to you then!!

Congrats :D

Ten Million Tangent Wednesday

1. That title made a LOT more sense when I thought it was Tuesday.

2. I don't care, I'm leaving it that way.

3. I seriously considered dropping caffeine pre-Princess, pretending that I'm hardcore like Frayed Laces, but I couldn't do it. I'm not that hard.

4. I recieved the INCREDIBLE donation from Marcia The Studly Runner, and she included this gem in the email:

Here are the funds raised thru my Running Off For a Cause efforts. More than the $$, know that so many are thinking of you and sending loads of get well/kick Leukemia to the curb thoughts to you, Gabby and the rest of your family. Cheers! Marcia

So the truth. Thanks, to everyone who thought good things, prayed, and hoped for the best.

5. Gabby's news keeps being good.... she's being taken off the blood pressure meds as well, which leaves us (on this cycle) with one more lumbar puncture, 1 pill a day, and a "Yummy!" grape liquid two days a week. AWESOME.

6. A local foundation contacted us last week to let us knowt hat Gabby was selected as the Patient of Honor for a local 5K. I was thrilled to hear that. I was equally bummed to hear that the 5K is, of course, Princess Weekend. I briefly considered switching flights to leave Saturday afternoon, but I couldn't find a flight that worked. I then considered, hard, skipping Princess Weekend, and staying here with Gab. Thankfully, The H is a rock star and is taking the Kidlets to participate, run some of the kids races, meet celebrities, and hang out with the VIP's. It's a tough life he leads.

7. But if anyone in OC is looking for a fun run, The OC Hope and Harmony 5K run/walk is Saturday, 2/26, at the Wild Rivers/Verizon Ampitheater Complex. Registration is a little steep, but all proceeds benefit the Beckstrand Foundation. If you're a cynic like me, and hate giving cash to random foundations, please take my word for this - Beckstrand is real, they're 100% legit. They're helping us out immensely.

8. I ran 3 miles last night, and it was glorious.

9. Still vegetarian. I still love it.

10. I leave in 9 days! SINGLE DIGITS!

11. I'm flying Virgin America. I hear they're pretty fab.

12. Racing With Babes posted a funny story about Dizzle, and how tough it is to discipline kids when they're being goofballs. This is very true, and here is my story. #1 was always good in school, always brought home green's in her agenda (you know, green=good, yellow=meh, red=stop being a punk). Within a few weeks of #2 starting school, she brought home a RED in her agenda. I asked her what happened...
#2: I ran during a fire drill.
Me: Ohhh. But you can't do that, you have to listen to your teacher.
#2: But if there's fire, I will run!
Me: Well, but the teacher has to tell you where to go, you have to listen to her and follow her directions.
#2: I know where the door is. If there is a fire, I will run for the door.

How do you argue with that?

13. Finally... I keep giggling at this video.

Love YOUrself Valentine Challenge!

Zoe at Run, Zoe, Run hosted this super fun challenge - 36 readers recieved a very cute Valentine's card from Zoe, with one thing she admires about us, and with these instructions:

These 36 cards come with a cute little skull tattoo, and I want to see where/where they can be photographed! Where, as in on the body (keep it PG, please) and where as in places around the country/world. If you want to participate, all you need to do is send me your address (don't worry, I'm not a psycho, and I definitely don't like spam either, so the address is safe with me). Then, when you get your Valentine, put the tattoo on the part of your body that you are most proud of because of running/life/fitness/etc. Take a picture of the tattoo and e-mail it back to me with 1) why you chose that body part and 2) where you're from. Get creative!

Back a few years ago, before I was ever considering running, I had a foot thing. I had pretty feet. I always had them polished and buffed and shiny. I had a billion pictures of my pretty feet lounging comfortably at the beach...

and...

Repeat, a lot.

We had a big weekend planned - I had 12 miles on the calendar, my sister is visiting, so we did some cleaning, Disneyland, etc. I had to split up my long run, into a 5 miler Saturday morning with PCRF, and 7 Sunday morning, at my favorite time of tooeffingearly o'clock.

Earlier in the week, I'd done a 5 miler, and was kind of achy the next day. I was realy worried about splitting up that long run, and how my second run would go - but I didn't really have a choice. That's just how my schedule worked out.

But I did both runs, and then, after running 7 miles at 6 am, in the dark, and cold, I took the kidlets to Disneyland.

This was the damage...


Pretty gnarly, huh?

I spared Zoe most of the gruesomeness, and sent her this far less creepy shot of my toes in the car after leaving Disneyland.

My 7 miles went fantastic, btw. :D

Disneyland!!

More, really? Yes, really.

She definitely has a favorite parent. One hint: it's not me.

Monorail sighting!!

Walking!!

I have no idea what's happening here.

Or here.

Everybody loves King Arthur's Carousel.

People discuss my art and pretend to understand as if it were necessary to understand, when it's simply necessary to love.

I have Blogger's Block again...

First, the quote today is Monet. I love Monet. I don't know that I've ever really told any of my friends that, just... because it's never come up. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to this on my back porch (ignore the recycling project happening in the background)...

Um....

Who DOES that?!

Second, as I said last week, Gabby's doctor gave me permission to take her to Disneyland once, this weekend. The chemo she's on this month lowers her blood counts, so this weekend was our one window of opportunity to head out with her.

And it was rad.

She went nuts when she saw the Castle, loooooves King Arthur's Carousel, was totally amused by Dumbo ("Mommy, that elephant is FLYING! That's so crazy!"), screamed through all of Matterhorn, and wanted nothing to do with Pirates. We have annual passes to Disneyland, so we go a LOT, but she was acting like it was her first time there ever. It was a great morning, and she had tons of fun.



1 & 2 even managed to participate without melting down.

She also drew a pretty fantastic dinosaur on her magna-doodle.

Third, my sister is coming to visit this week. So far, our winter has been fantastic. Sunny, warm, clear - beautiful. While the rest of the country was melting down over some chilly weather, we've been basking in the SoCal sunshine.

So of course, this is what our forecast looks like for her visit:
Goodbye, hiking. Goodbye, dinners overlooking the ocean at sunset. Goodbye, morning runs. Goodbye, sitting on the beach eating cheese. Stupid winter.

Finally, last but not least, I have an iFitness belt giveaway here, that's ending tonight, and so far, looks like Little Fruit Fly has a lock on it!

Three Things Thursday

1. I was super hard core last night and ran the loop from Suck It Up, Buttercup 5K, followed by 2 miles on the stupid treadmill. In a closed room. With no iPod. And a broken TV.

2. Foam rolling has become my new best friend. I wasn't sold on it, at first - I tried it, and it was hard to figure out (because I'm as coordinated and graceful as a sloth), but I think I've got it down, because it all seems pretty magical now.

3. TWO WEEKS TWO WEEKS TWO WEEKS!!

iFitness Belt Giveaway!

The fine folks at iFitness were FANTASTIC when I approached them about a giveaway to tie into my fundraising for Pediatric Cancer Reseach Foundation.

If you're new, or don't know about my fundraising, you can read the story here, about my 4yr old daughter, leukemia, and why PCRF is my cause.

We all know about the iFitness belts, but here's what we've got....

The black single pouch belt. From their website...

Neoprene Single Pouch Black Water resistant pouch - will fit any size phone. Inner pocket will keep your ID/credit cards safe Reflective strips for night time safety One size fits all adjustable Guarnteed not to bounce, ride up or chafe.

We've also got....

The pink with black zipper double pouch belt.

Water resistant double pouch will keep your iPhone or Blackberry safe from rain or sweat. A second pouch will keep your energy gels,keys or camera, seprate from your phone. An inner pocket will hold your ID and credit cards safely. Two reflector strips in the front for your night time runs. This belt will not bounce, chafe or ride up while you run! …

Awesome (and generous), right!?

How to enter...

1. Donate, donate, donate! 1 entry for every $$$ you donate to Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation. Click here!, donate whatever is right for you, leave a comment that "I rock and donated to a FANTASTIC cause!", and make sure to leave your screen name in the donation so I can match them up!

2. Spread the word! Tweet on Twitter: "#cancersucks! I just entered @hmgiraffy @ifitnessrunning #giveaway! http://tinyurl.com/4t9ezwu"

3. Post on your blog, FB, etc, and leave a comment to let me know!

4. Like iFitness on FB, and let them know they ROCK for supporting Pediatric Cancer Research! HERE Leave a comment to let me know!

5. Be a follower of this blog! Leave a comment to let me know!


That's it! Easy as pie.

I'm sure someone wants these for the DISNEY PRINCESS HALF in TWO WEEKS!!! So we'll run this through Monday - all entries must be recieved by midnight pacific 2/14. I'll announce the TWO winners on Tuesday, and get these shipped out so you guys can enjoy them for whatever race you have coming up.


iFitness also sent a teeny belt for Gabby. Which she LOVED!! As soon as I strapped it on her, she stuffed it full of teeny toys, and wanted to go for a run with me :D.

Run Your Own Race

As a runner, how often do you hear this piece of advice given?

Constantly, right?

I'm a new runner. But both races I've done, I started out fast. Too fast for my level of running. I was passing people, a lot, and it felt good. I was running based on how many people I could dart past.

Sure, it was fun. Until mile 1.5, when I wanted to walk the rest of the way and every step was stupid and awful.

I've been wondering why my long runs feel so much EASIER to me than my shorter runs. That doesn't really make sense, does it?

When I do my mid-week runs, I'm constantly trying to one-up myself. I always try to go faster than last time. I always start off at a reasonable pace (for my fitness level), and then I see that timer ticking higher, and higher. And I can't let it go. I HAVE TO BE FASTER. That is how I end up running my last quarter mile of every treadmill run at a ridiculous pace that I have NO business touching yet. My "Miracle Mile" pace is 8:48. That puts my SPEEDWORK at 10:11-10:32. I finished my quarter mile at a 7:32 pace.

And why? Because I saw the time creeping up past what I thought was "acceptable".

Never mind that I have virtually skipped 4 weeks of training. Never mind that I have NEVER run that pace, ever. Never mind that I'm supposed to be doing an EASY run at 10:46.

I wanted to beat myself.

And every time I do this (which is, every time I'm on the treadmill), I hate it. I want to puke. It's hot. I never want to run again. And this time, in addition to the near-puking, I jacked up my leg. And had to miss ANOTHER bunch of runs.

All because I was impatient. I made myself compete, against myself.

How silly does that sound? It's TRAINING, for a FUN RUN.

Don't get me wrong. I totally believe competitiveness is a virtue - it definitely has it's own time and place. But this wasn't it.

And the crazy thing is, I'm a HUGE advocate of applying this principle across my life. I don't compare leukemia stories. I don't compare my work to other people in my office. I do what I need to do, and keep it moving. No fuss, no worrying about other folks. I run my own race.

Monday night, I went for a run. Outside, with the H. I blogged (briefly) about my first attempt at running with H here... but let me sum it up for you: Terrible.

He's fast - he comfortably runs a 7:30 mile (I think?). Last time, I felt compelled to keep up. I was chasing him. And I lasted less than a mile before my first walk break.

Monday night, I focused on running my own race. I ran slow, but I ran steady, and I didn't worry about where he was. He would dart off, and loop back and jog with me for awhile. And we finished our 3.2 mies, slowly (I think he ended just shy of 4?).

But, and this is how I know I did something right... I LOVED EVERY SECOND. I felt GREAT. I never felt impatient, or rushed, or antsy. And at the end, I felt good enough to sprint the last .2 faster than him. Because he darted all about and was dead by the end of our loop.

Score.

Winner winner, chicken dinner!

Thanks to Random.org, the CSN $25 giveaway winner is Becka at 50halfmarathonsin50states! Becka is a good friend of mine in Real Life too, so if you haven't seen her blog before (really, who hasn't? where have you been?), stop by and give her some Good-Luck-in-your-FULL-marathon-coming-up vibes :D.

I'll send the winners info out via email shortly!

Some secret, but rad, product will be available in my next giveaway starting tomorrow!!

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

Things to be grateful for, today:
1. Gabby's test results all came back STELLAR. There were no detectable leukemia cells, so the chemo she's had for the last month has basically kicked some leukemia ass. She'll still be on various treatment plans for the next 2 1/2 years, but this is really promising. Based on some other (chromosome??) test, she's got only about a 5% chance of the leukemia ever re-visiting :D.

2. PLUS! We were given clearance for trips to the store, park, uncrowded things... and, as a ONE TIME special, a trip to Disneyland this weekend. So stoked.

3. I ran last night virtually pain free. I suppose intense icing and foam rolling was the trick.

4. Did I mention that I went vegetarian again? I started Saturday, and so far, so good! I made some vegetarian lasagna one night, cheese and veg quesadillas the next, and some fantastic potato and kale soup Monday.

It's a good day.

Also, don't forget, last chance to enter the CSN Giveaway here!

Happy Monday!

Saturday morning was my first run with the PCRF fundraising team (to donate, you can click here). I was pretty excited to get out there - I'd taken an extra day off, iced and stretched my IT band, and was feeling GREAT. We took off on a 3.5 mile run... and awful. My leg? Hurting. I walked the second up-hill, and that was the end. I didn't get back out. I didn't finish my 7.5 remaining miles. I didn't do my long run. I logged 6.5 miles last week, total.

Sucktastic.

I spent the rest of Saturday, and all of Sunday, alternately stretching, icing, and foam rolling. Tonight, I attempt again. Fingers corssed?

I also have an update on my Brooks shoes situation...

So I posted this picture on the Brooks Gurus FB page...


And this is the ensuing conversation:
Okay, so that came out teeny, but, essentially, Brooks Gurus tells me that my "nagging" pain (that at this point has been around for 3 full days) is what caused the defective-looking wear on my shoes TWICE, which started last JUNE.

And now I'm pissy, because I've been preaching about how rad Brooks are, and their customer service is above and beyond, and their shoes rock... HERE... and... HERE, for example.

So, something to keep in mind when looking at Brooks in the future, I guess. And such a bummer, because I really did love Brooks.



But what makes this such a Happy Monday?



This...


I think the steroids have run their course, and my kid seems to be back. She spent the weekend being sweet, and huggy, and playful, and moving, and it was the.best.thing.ever. I mean. I don't think there are even words for how grateful I was to see her again.



General housekeeping... don't forget about the $25 CSN giveaway! This runs until tomorrow night, and winner announced Wednesday.


I've also been gifted with tons of other goodies from some generous companies, that you'll all love (think fab running supplies)! I'm so excited about these.... Next week :D



And..... of course, my donation page, and our story - please share!

OH! And, Happy Birthday, TMB! Stop by and tell her how awesome she is. I hear she likes that.

Today Rocks

1. I got this text from the H this morning...

Gab hasn't looked sideways at fruit or veggies in weeks. I am so stoked :D.

2. I got my bib number for the Disney Princess Half Marathon... I suppose that makes it Official!!

3. You guys rock. My fundraising for Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation has gone super well, and thank you to so many of you for reposting! Link here if you've missed it.

4. Don't forget my CSN giveaway! Don't forget, you'll get an extra entry just for reposting my fundraising story! Plus, Little Fruit Fly and her mad Googling skills earned an extra 5 entries for naming Serenity as the movie I snagged my quote from :D

5. I have my first training run with PCRF this weekend, and I'm excited. It's short, so I'll have to add on a bunch of miles to hit my long run.

6. I'm trying a recipe this weekend for a potato, sausage, and kale soup, and my cousins are coming over to share it with me.

7. I took (another) night off from running yesterday, and I think it was the right choice. I've been icing, stretching, and I think I slept off an oncoming cold, but woke up today feeling fantastic.

8. I think I might go vegetarian again after I hit the farmers market this weekend.... Hmm.

9. My sister is coming to visit in 2 weeks!

and finally, but best of all...

10. We had a procedure with Gabby on Wednesday (bone marrow biopsy and lumbar puncture - ick), and found out not only are her numbers doing GREAT, her ANC number (the complicated number that's calculated based off of a lot of other stuff, but for a real definition, you can click here) is around 600. It was ZERO when we left the hospital... and, I hear, at around 750 you can start discussing with your doctor taking her out (in the shade) for walks :D.

Three Things Thursday, and a giveaway!

Another CSN Giveaway! We all know about CSN. They've got everything from modern dining room furniture, to foam rollers, to cookware.

To enter to win this fabulous $25 gift certificate...
*Be (or become) a follower of 365awesomedays (1 entry)
*Follow me on http://twitter.com/hmgiraffy (1 entry)
*Post a link to my fundraising effort, something sure the hell ain't right, on your blog, fb, twitter, etc (1 entry for each)
*DONATE here, 1 entry for every $$ you donate! If you've aready donated, leave me a comment and I'll add your entries :).

Leave a separate comment for each, please! Otherwise, I won't calculate them properly, and you'll miss out on your extra entries. I'm math challenged!

That's it! Easy peasy.

Rules:
This is gonna be a quick one! Giveaway ends at midnight (pacific) on Tuesday, 2/8, with the winner announced Wednesday.
CSN only ships to the US and Canada, so the winner must be only in... US or Canada.

******
Three Things Thursday....

1. So... looks like I'm running a half marathon in May. :D. I seriously expected to *maybe* eventually hit the $1000 for the half marathon. But in 24 hours, we did this:



I've updated my goal to $2000... at $2000, some chick on my favorite message board wants me to wear something made out of this god awful beautiful fabric...


Awful.

2. Back in December, I posted about this weird wear pattern on the inside of my shoe... and Brooks was kind enough to replace the shoe for me, as it's not normal wear. I've been wearing Brooks for ages, and this is the first time I'd had an issue.
I've had the replacement pair since December, and have run exactly 59 miles in them, and this....

So I emailed Brooks, again, and was told - seriously - I probably just have a weird shaped foot, and they suggest I buy a different style. Really? A weird shaped foot. Thanks, Brooks.

3. Seems I've got a bit of an IT band situation. I meant to ice it yesterday, but it was soooo cold, I couldn't bring myself to it. I'm such a pansy. :D

Well, something sure the hell ain't right.

Did you know this is Leukemia Awareness Week?

Leukemia is one of those things, for me, that I knew about - I always thought it was sad, of course, but... it was not really on my radar. A few years ago, I signed up for Team in Training with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I didn't know anything about blood cancers, and while I found the stories touching, they weren't really... life impacting, for me. I just wanted to be a runner.

Some of you are new followers, and might not know how my last month unfolded. It started with a cold. I've got three kids, in two different schools, so unsurprisingly, someone brought home a cough.

Three weeks after this cough started, it still hadn't stopped for Gabby. But all the kids in her class were also coughing, so.. it didn't seem like much. I brought her to the doctor, and they thought nothing of it. She'd be fine.

New Years Eve, she was kinda sleepy and bleh. I thought it was her body resting and fighting off whatever funk was left.

New Years day, when she wouldn't get off the couch or eat, still, I gave in and brought her to urgent care.

Something sure the hell ain't right. Something was really, really wrong.

I brought her to Urgent Care, and they took one look at her, and sent us to the ER down the street.

I brought her to the ER, and the nurse on duty took one look at her, and cleared a bed and brought her back. 5 minutes, from door to bed. Done.

Within 20 minutes, she had a chest X-Ray, blood draws, and IV's. Shortly after, the doctor came back in, and said, for real, "There's some abnormalities in her blood. I've been on the phone with the children's hospital. They are sending a transport ambulence for you now. The Oncology ICU is waiting for her."

And there is nothing you can imagine, scarier than that.

You can read about her official diagnosis HERE

And everything in between then, and now, tells her story.

Me, I'm just a mom. A mom starting to run. A mom with two other kids, a full time job, and a husband. A mom with an already full plate.

I'm not a fast runner. I'm not a perfect wife. I'm not the World's Greatest Boss.

But I do have amazing support, through my blog, through my favorite message board, through the running community.

And now, I'm counting on that support to help support the Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation.

The Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation is holding its Annual "Cinco de Mayo Races" on Sunday, May 1, 2011 in Irvine. The money raised will fund research that explores causes, treatments and cures for pediatric cancer.

My donation link is HERE.

And this is where the fun starts...

There's a Half Marathon, 10K, and 5K option for this race.

I'm willing to do ANY distance, but the distance I do depends on how much I raise.

$500 for the 5K

$750 for the 10K

$1000 for the half marathon

That's it.

In the next few weeks, I've got some great giveaways lined up, and the more you donate, the more entries you'll earn.

I know this is a loooong post. But Gabby has TWO YEARS of chemo treatments. Two years, where she can't play in the sun. She can't go to Disneyland. We can't travel to visit our families. TWO YEARS where her sisters can't have their normal lives back.

And that sure the hell ain't right.

5 bonus entries on my first giveaway to whomever can guess what movie my title quote is from.

January Recap

In January, I skipped almost ALL of my runs. I lost some speed (I mean, what teeny bit of speed I had). But I hit my highest mileage week ever last week, at 19 miles. I ran 10.9 miles, for a distance PR for me. And it wasn't awful.

And that's all I've got for running. I'm feeling pretty bummed today, so I won't be offended if you stop here and just say, NICE 11 miles! I promise.

So today is supposed to be the last day of The Steroid. This entire month, I've been counting down, banking on the fact that it was just 28 days, and she'd be back to her normal, pleasant self.

We had to call the clinic yesterday, because she's LITERALLY eating so much, her stomach was hurting. She can't digest what she's taking in fast enough. So we call, and the nurse tells H, that we can expect this on her NEXT ROUND OF STEROIDS ALSO.

Wait, what?? WHAT?? Next round? Like, more of this??

And I don't know how to deal with that.

She's like a whole different person. An unpleasant, gluttonous, mean person, that I don't even recognize.

Look at this. This was Gabby in August, her first day of school.


This was Gabby this morning.


And that's a super happy face for her. That is about as good as it gets.

When I worked the Operation Jack Marathon the day after Christmas, I remember thinking that I just didn't know how Sam and his family did it. Parenting is hard. I couldn't even begin to imagine parenting a child that couldn't... show you love, and appreciation. I really rely on that feedback from my kids, to know I'm doing right by them.

And here we are. With an unreasonable 4 year old, that hates just about everything we do to her.

I guess there's no point really to this, except to whine.

And now that it's out of my system, I'm gonna stop and work on my fun announcement for later today :D.